After a while, I discovered that I had started to enter into some of the truth that I had not previously understood or that I had been unable to put into practice. I used to be spoiled at home and food, clothing and having fun took up most of my time. My flesh could suffer no wrong and could not endure the slightest hardship. In the few days after I left home and was living with the host family, I could no longer do anything I wanted, could no longer do as I pleased like I had done at home. Gradually, my pampered nature and bad habits lessened, and I came to know that to have food and clothing in life is to be content. I also gained an insight into the essence of the flesh, never again to continue to pursue satisfaction of the flesh, and I came to know that seeking to satisfy God is the most important thing a creation can do. Before, when my mother was at home, no matter whether I had physical issues or problems in my life, I always depended on her and let her help me resolve them. When I came across problems, I didn’t pray to God, didn’t seek the truth, nor did I have a normal relationship with God. After my mother was taken away, I had no one I could depend on when I came across difficulties. I could only go before God more often to pray to Him, to eat and drink more of God’s words, to seek His will more often. Gradually, the place my mother had held in my heart grew smaller, while God’s place in my heart grew bigger. I felt that God could help me any time I needed, that I could not leave God even for one moment. Moreover, I also learned to rely on
prayer and to rely on my pursuit of the truth to resolve my problems, and I tasted the feeling of peace, sureness and dependability that comes from having God with me. When I lived at home, although I knew that believers and non-believers were two kinds of people that were incompatible with each other, I still felt as though only my parents and my elder sister were my family, and I always saw my brothers and sisters in the church as outsiders, always feeling some distance between us. After God had used the environment to “drive” me out of my home, I was together with my brothers and sisters in my host family from morning till night, and felt their concern and care for me, their tolerance and understanding. We spoke the same language, shared the same aspirations and helped each other through life; from my heart, I felt that this was my only true family, that only my brothers and sisters in the church were my father, mother and siblings. There was no longer any estrangement between me and my brothers and sisters in the church, no distance, and I experienced the warmth that comes from having a large family. Through this environment with my brothers and sisters, I also learned how we could love each other, pardon each other and support each other through life, so that my normal humanity was recovered. This truth was what I could not put into practice before, when I lived at home and relied on meetings and sermons. After my mother was taken by the great red dragon and I was forced to leave home, in these exceptional circumstances and unbeknown to me, God wrought this truth within me and gradually deepened my understanding of it. In the wake of my entering into this truth, my heart that sought to love and satisfy God became ever stronger and my will to live my entire life for God became ever more resolute. The person I had been—who believed in God but had no purpose, who weakened whenever some problem came along—was undergoing a gradual change. What God bestowed on me really was more than I ever could have thought, and my heart became full of gratitude and praise for Him.
